Both authors are discussing about their experience in New Zealand except one writes about how she faces the poor reality of it being shattered away with new changes of the city as her memories were a dream of primeval beaches, whereas the other one writes about how her first sight of New Zealand comes to be a dismal and gloomy country in terms of first setting foot there as a refugee. Although both authors sets a melancholy tone about New Zealand when they arrive or as they return, both have differing approach of their writing. With using strong connotation and the use of diction, the first paragraph of the poem approaches the reader with a very gloomy tone as it compares New Zealand hills "are packed like cement", diction like"cemeteries lush with centuries of flesh" and "The people smile with missing teeth like hosts of a drunk party...clearly, the North has been here forever". Cemeteries lush with centuries of flesh, the choice of diction in this sentence was to intentionally reinforce an image in the readers mind of the North of New Zealand as a very old spooky place, shifting us away from an image of a bright and happy place. Comparing the people to a drunk hosts engages us to the author meeting the kiwis during her arrival in New Zealand as if they never gave her a express of kindness or respect. With hills like packed of cement sets to say that the mountains in New Zealand aren't as captivating.
Whereas Fiona on the other hand approaches the reader with a more enchanting and bright tone in her first paragraph with the use of her choice of diction. For example, she says "as the plane climbs up over Europe and watch it turn into a pristine place of rested hills and snow-topped mountains through which win the rivers..." the words like pristine, and snow-topped mountains gives out a bright tone as we as the reader create vivid imagery of beautiful landscape and snow, the word snow gives out a happy sense of emotion as snow reminds us of happy memories and Christmas movies.
Both authors approach the reader describing a country and the characteristics of it with a differing tone. Fiona talks about the mountains of Europe as "snow-topped" whereas the poem says that hills of North of NZ are "packed like cement".
However, when coming further down with Fiona's writing, we start to have a similar mood of how we felt when reading the poem. She expressed a similar tone of despondency with such choice of diction to form a melancholy tone, "that dream of primeval beaches scattered with driftwood...", "plains burned to a tawny hide in late summer.", "That dream she knows to be corrupted by reality: the beach is already threatened...
Your essay was captivating to read and you really do have a way with your words. I personally think you have answered the question well and you have gone into detail about both texts. It seems that you have also done a wonderful job unpacking diction but you seemed to have run out of time to truly finish it and unpack the other techniques. I think I would advise to you also to be a bit more critical with your work as your personal thoughts about the authors don't seem to shine through. Overall I think you did a great job considering the time we were given. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Selepa, I am very impressed with how much you were able to write good job! You did your paragraphs very well and everything is nicely spaced out, I think you sort of answered the question I think if you talked about the arriving into New Zealand in context to the second text a bit more it would have make your answer even stronger. You unpacked a lot of techniques which is good, although maybe next time try to be a bit more critical about your thoughts. Your balance of the two texts was also pretty good, you may have talked about the first one more but I don't think it was by much. You also didn't have a link to the wider world which would have been nice. Other than that it is very well written good job!
ReplyDelete